vedyoke

And sometimes when we touch the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and hide..

when you held me and kissed my cheeks, i felt like the rest of the world no longer mattered. like i could just be in that moment forever. i wasn't doing it because i wanted to. i did it because being with you was all that i needed. all that i needed.

now i'm bluer than blue.. sadder than sad..

while we were walking alone in the dark, and you held your hand out for me, gently you placed your hands on my waist. i've never felt more secure.

i'll make love to you like you want me to.. and i'll hold you tight.. darling all through the night..

when you pressed both hands against my cheeks, sitting there in front of me just silently looking at me, i wanted to believe you wanted me as much as i wanted you. but my head was telling me you want so much more. that which no matter how i try i could never give you.

and i'm missing you and nobody knows it but me.

when i was resting against your arms and chest, and you encircled me with both arms, i wished knowing how you truly felt was as simple as clasping your chest nearer such that i heard and mimicked your every breath and heart beat. i wanted to believe your heart beat for me as much as i know that my only reason for breathing is you.

although we've come to the end of the road, still i can't let go.

and though i seemed not to care for even a slight bit at every word those melodies brought forth, i understood each and every one of them. deciphered them probably for far more than what they're worth. and i wanted to believe them. oh, how i prayed you really meant them.

how can i be strong.. i've asked myself.. time and time i've said that i'll never fall in love with you again.

when i was trying to be strong cause everybody was scared, you called my name and even without holding me close, that simple look in your face made me feel that it was okay to be afraid cause you were there and you were going to take care of me. i wanted to hold your hands badly. i wanted the world to be blind even for just a minute so that i could hold you close because i think i saw something. i think i saw you finally loving me.

have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?

as you were resting your head on my lap and i was playfully stroking your hair, it was plain for everyone to see that you meant so much more to me. and though i wondered about their thoughts, yours mattered more. your voice placed on mute everything else even my own. if only you truly spoke to me.

if i never feel you in my arms again.. if i never feel your tender kiss again.. if i never hear i love you now and then will i never make love to you once again?

when you playfully trace the outline of my body. oh how they send chills down my spine. and i wanted not to care about everything else. but i didn't want to blow it all for you. as much as what i thought could make you happy hurt me, i gave way. not because i was allowing you to step on my heart but because i wanted you to prove to me that you won't. that you might just want to start anew with me.

...to be continued..