sometimes, paminsan-minsan, kis-a..

kis-a we get to meet people who inspire us that one day we will eventually meet that person whom we will love and adore because of everything he is. not despite of what he's not but because he is what he's not. i've met a lot of people in my life. probably you've met more but who's counting? some of them i've foolishly adored. i have a very vivid imagination mind you. and i go to into episodes of trance more often than i'd like to admit. and during these moments i envision many embarrassing whatnots. i have had a lot of imaginary boyfriends, so you're not alone charitess barrios and jv briones. i could enumerate them right here, right now. but no, i will not. it would be a shame to those whom i have long forgotten. more so, the biggest reason is that i don't want to add insult to injury, just admitting i have once upon a time dissected them in one of my dreams is already far too humiliating.

they are mostly strangers, acquaintances or people that have been only introduced once. i act all keber in front of them. but then i would often find myself in a solitary corner afterwards and have kemperlu-sorts of fairytale stories with that stranger circling in my mind. it's involuntary.. like breathing..

and then i have these characters i just invented out of thin air. i've had a fresh grad volunteer boyfriend and a physician husband to mention a few. but not in the same daydream. i am a faithful person even in my own stripped-down thoughts. *cough* bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan guilty. and they're not all perfect as what dreams ought to be. they're twisted, real-life twisted. and even in my daydreams i go through problems. so from here on when i'm in such an awful mood and it seems as though nothing frustrating has really happened in this tangible earth, you're free to assume that maybe i've just had a fight with my physician husband. and that i'm already thinking of divorce.

some people feel embarrassed when they say they've never had a boyfriend since birth. NBSB. well, i'm not.. kay indi man ko ya NBSB.. duh? pati ah, being in a relationship teaches you a lot of things such as giving unconditionally(and then eventually realizing that you shouldn't), 1 week is too short-a-time to get attached and knowing the difference between estyufid excuses ( i.e. that picture doesn't mean anything.. we were just making a funny video.. *nobody's laughing*) and gasgas estyufid excuses (i.e. we're just friends.. *best in originality*) because giving an excuse is just plain unexcusable. It also broadens your kitid utok that maybe murder is not so wrong after all, it could be a form of self defense against emotional battery. no, i didn't do it.

but yes though you learn a lot of things, you also subject yourself to a lot more. there are those that allow personal growth but most of them are just plain nonsense. and people just sugarcoat them as "valuable experiences" to make up for their sorry egos because after all emotions were involved and there could be no greater investment than that. sin-o ba naman ang maadmit nga nag-invest sila sa isa ka bagay kag ang nakuha lng nila was a vault full of flatus! so mayo pa ang mga nbsb.. mayo pa..

aba bitter-bitteran much?! hahah! no ah, it's just the sorry truth..

funny and direction sang pagdrift sakon thoughts.. well anyway i'm not saying that LOVE is just a myth. it exists! (hoooray!) but you have to dig through mounds and mounds of bull crap before you finally find it..

well then good luck digging! :)