is crying is me..

tamadness..

i added "...to be continued.." to my last post because i was thinking i would be posting another blog, a part 2. there's just so much more to write. but natamad na ko. whe! :/

cheeeeesyness

tsk.. indi ko feel magdrama. last night as i was writing my post, tears just kept falling. echosera lang gid ko ya goro kay feel na feel ko gd. kag things actually begin to take on a new form once you actually write it down and understand them for what they really were or how you really felt then.

i am an emotional person. i cry a lot. from silent sobs to i-don't-care-who's-around-hindi ko-na-ni-mapunggan waras, carry ko na tanan.

i've observed nga lain-lain ang ways sang paghibi ko on different circumstances.. have you ever experienced being in so much emotional pain nga gahambal ka na nga "indi na ko, indi na gid ko. please take all this pain away?" tas galuhod, gatulok sa babaw, hands together in prayer. that happened to me twice. different people, different circumstances. looking back, i don't even know how i got through whatever it was i went through. back then it just seemed so painful nga daw ikamatay ko nah. sobra-sobra kasakit. may mga bagay nga until now, they still hurt but not to the point nga daw mabuka na heart mo. (mabuka heart---o db, grade 6 ka ne??? lol) indi ko maiksplikar (padalumdalum tinaga ah! lol) kung ano sya kasakit basta ang bal-an ko lang indi ko na xa gusto maagyan. manami magpalangga, pero di nami magcrash and burn (yesseh, eng-long! english-ilonggo!)

you're the sunshine after the rain (98 degrees)

ako ang type sang tawo nga nakulbaan makabatyag sakit. gaavoid magbatyag. so everything that would only remind me, nah-da na paghilabtan. there was a time when i avoided watching romantic films and invested on my stash of comedy films. indi ko magbond sa mga friends ko kung malantaw man lang sila drama, indi na dhai. but stupid of me to assume that romantic on romantic comedies didn't come on caps lock. i watched valentine's day, tas mga 3/4 sang movie i was crying really hard while others were laughing. the movie ended with me sobbing, dala singok2 until matapos ang credits. patalaw-an, i'm sure other people sa moviehouse noticed too, kagahod ba naman sakon maghibi pero i didn't care. indi ko ya bi mapunggan? i went to work and hyperventilated as my shift was about to start.. bonggang drama!! weenur!

though it was of a different circumstance, it happened to me again last night, i was sobbing really hard but was careful enough not to awaken my sister. i didn't know it months ago nor did i knew it yesterday, but those 2 episodes had been my catharsis. it starts with a really agonizing emotional breakdown but soon after that you will have one last cry that will finally cleanse you of everything that used to be painful and/or lethal. (chos!)

every scar will soon heal, give it time. allow yourself to grieve. you have to feel the pain, to get through it. there's just no other way around. soon there'll be that one final tear. don't deprive yourself of that wonderful feeling of your soul finally letting go.

but kung ako ya, ang moral of the story gid is indi ka na lang magpa-scar dhai! para wala sakit or grieving process eklavu.. dah ba? kaon ka na lang, pareho lang na nga may endorphins..

agree?

tama!